


Red Hood's Investigation

by ConstanceMoriarty



Category: Rotkäppchen | Little Red Riding Hood (Fairy Tale), Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Little Red Riding Hood Fusion, Fairy Tale Style, Gen, Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-05-01 17:00:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5213756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConstanceMoriarty/pseuds/ConstanceMoriarty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short and (hopefully) light and witty retelling of the Little Red Riding Hood, based on the Charles Perrault version of the tale.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Red Hood's Investigation

Once upon a time, in a far away village called Beacon Hills, lived a lively young man, the most mischievous and sarcastic creature who was ever seen. His father, who was the local sheriff, was excessively fond of him, despite all the problems his meddling prankster of a son caused him, and the entire village doted on him still more. The good sheriff’s deputies even had a little red riding hood made for him one year after hearing his endless chatter on the matter of superheroes and how he’d _totally_ be a great one if only he had a great costume. It suited the boy so extremely well in his own opinion that he took to wearing it all the time, dubbing himself **Red Hood** , “as if you didn’t already had a preposterous name to begin with, Stiles”, complained Finstock, while the baker served the boy some of the cupcakes which had made his fame in the entire region.  
  
Despite the haters who kept on hating, whatever that means, Stiles was not deterred and kept introducing himself as the super hero **Red Hood**. One would think that doing so would defeat the purpose of having a secret identity, but the truth was, Red Hood’s crime-fighting endeavors seemed to be rather limited, despite Stiles's attire and his vehement protests as to the legitimacy of his investigations and the need thereof. But when push comes to shore, the truth is that the fight against evil, alas, often came second to his true calling: playing videos games with his best friend Scott.  
  
Lately, however, as Scott, the newly dubbed _traitor_ , had found himself a _girlfriend_ , Stiles' social calendar had become quite empty, reviving his interest toward saving the world from the morally-challenged individuals who wished to harm it. And who better to investigate on that the Argent family whose daughter Allison had so treacherously stolen his best friend?  
  
It wasn’t only out of bitterness, too! The Argent family was shady as hell: Allison’s mother had once made them an apple pie and when Stiles had tried to compliment her cooking skills, she smiled wickedly (that’s totally a thing, Scott) and showed him her collection of **knives** , stating that knife cutting was a refined and forgotten art. How is that not shady, Scott! She had over her hundred knives in her kitchen, surely only a **sociopath** would even need as many knives!  
  
Thus began the investigation of the Argent family. After some long weeks spent gathering information, on a random day that the Red Hood had chose to spend hiding in the shrub outside the Argent’s house, he finally overheard an interesting if cryptic conversation between Allison’s creepy grandfather and her aunt. Now, he knew of a time and a place he highly suspected a crime of some sort might happen. Naturally, Stiles immediately went to Scott's house and try to open his eyes to the truth. Alas, Scott’s mom was not amused by the fact that he had broken into their home at 11 pm in his excitement and had proclaimed a week long banishment of the Stiles that Scott was too much of a coward to challenge. And really, that accusation was totally unfar, it's **not** breaking in if you've made a copy of the key, Mrs McCall!  
  
Undeterred by the smirch on his honor and his abandonment by Scott, the Red Hood donned his costume and set out into the woods that night. Luckily, it was the full moon and the night was not as dark as he had feared (shut up, those woods were totally scary, with the wild animals  & the meth labs and whatnot). As he didn’t know precisely where in the woods to go, nor at what time precisely the Argent’s nefarious plot was to enfold, he wandered about for a while, eating the cakes and butter he had brought with him as snacks. As any serious crime-fighting professional knows, snacks are an integral part of defeating evil.  
  
As he was going through the wood, he ran into a guy he didn’t recognized. Once he recovered from his very man-ly cry of surprise, Stiles was able to realize that the guy in question was cosplaying as a werewolf How cool was that? He wasn’t just dressed up too, no, he was full-on cosplaying, with the growling and the menacing tone:  
  
“Oh, sorry I didn’t see you there, well, of course I didn’t see you there, it’s dark, you probably didn’t see me either, that’s generally what happens when two people run into one another. Wait, great costume? Are you going to a party or is cosplaying a thing you like to do? I don’t judge, I’m Red Hood, that’s my super hero name, so I really can’t judge me. On second thought, don’t judge m…”  
  
“Shut up!”  
  
“Well, that’s rude, I apologized for running into you, aren’t you going to apologize? Or at least introduce yourself?”  
  
“I’m not gonna apologize Stiles, you ran into me, with your usual clumsiness.” said the werewolf cosplayer while gesturing toward Stiles.  
  
“I’m not clumsy!” protested Stiles, “And how do you know my name anyway?”  
  
“Seriously Stiles?” said the werewolf, with a growl and an aggravated tone.  
  
“Yes, seriously. For all I know, you’re an actual werewolf and you’re planning on eating me. Seriously, that would make for a great story, tonight being the full moon and all. Oh! I guess that would make the Argent werewolves hunters, totally proving my point about them being shady. Because if you really are a werewolf, you really suck at killing and terrorizing people. Sure, you’re a bit rude, but what can you do, you were raised by wolves! Ah! Get it?”  
  
He did not get it. The werewolf-until-proven-human turned and started to walk away. Naturally, Stiles wasn’t having any of that.  
  
“Come on, dude, that was funny! And if you're gonna pout at the wolve's jokes, maybe you shouldn’t have dressed up as a werewolf. Anyway, I came out here because I thought the Argent had an evil secret plot in the woods tonight, but I…” the werewolf turned back immediately toward Stiles, cutting him off:  
  
“The Argents? They’re in the woods tonight?” Stiles managed to understand over the growling.  
  
“Hum, yes, yes, I overhead them. Why? Do you know something? I was right, wasn’t I, they _are_ evil!!”  
  
Looking away again, the werewolf got his cell phone out of his pocket and made a call, to his mom, apparently, relaying the news of the Argents being in the woods. Stiles interjected a few times to give some details. After the phone call, the werewolf started to walk away in long strides, which didn't sit well with Stiles, whose curiosty had been raised over the roof by the entire interactions. He had to know what this was all about, now. So he followed the werewolf, struggling to keep up with him (he was starting to think the guy really had supernatural powers, walking that fast without breaking a sweat couldn’t be natural), until the Hale house came into view.  
  
Talia Hale came out on the porch as they were approaching, telling them to get inside. When the werewolf said to Mrs. Hale, “Sorry mom, I didn’t know what to do, he just wouldn’t leave me alone and I was shifted when he saw me”, Stiles thought that the sky had fallen onto his head.  
  
They came inside, hot chocolate was procured and the explanation started. Werewolves were real. The Hale were werewolves. The Argent were werewolves’ hunters. Kudos on Stiles for figuring it out without even trying. But that wasn’t the most important piece of information of the night. Oh no! Just as Stiles was just digesting the fact that Derek Hale, his life-long crush, was indeed a real-life werewolf, Derek’s sister Laura came bustling through the door laughing:  
  
“Poor Der-bear, you were together in the woods for an hour and your crush never even recognize you? You must feel pretty bad, right about now…” she said, cackeling.  
  
Derek blushed, Stiles blushed, a few confessions might have been exchanged, sweet promises were definitely made and before things could get any further, Derek’s mom turned their attention back to the previous topic.  
  
Gerard and Kate Argent (Allison’s grandfather and aunt) had discovered the plans that Allison’s father had made to abandon his family’s tradition and stop hunting werewolves, for he had fallen in love with a wolf himself. The wolf in question was Peter Hale, Derek’s uncle, who Stiles had always thought was pretty creepy, which meant he was a perfect fit for Allison's murdery-vibe dad. Now Stiles just had to get that disturbing mental image out of his head. And really, it was not that bad if it meant the ending of a century old feud. Which, how awesome is that! An actual century old feud between two families! Beacon Hills could never be called boring ever again!  
  
After the Hale caught them planting traps in the woods that night, Gerard and Kate agreed to leave Beacon Hills never to return if Chris promised not to spread the news of his “betrayal”. Chris and Peter were free to get married, which freed up Scott a little while Allison was getting busy, having a new father and sister in her life. Not that Stiles was so desperate so spend all his time with Scott now that he had a boyfriend of his own.  
  
The wedding came and went, life in Beacon Hills was quiet again (not that it was ever that unquiet to begin with) and our heroes lived happily and had many children.  
  
  
_Moral: Children, especially sarcastic, witty young folks, should always listen to their instincts when it comes to strangers, for if they do so, they may well be provided dinner at their werewolf boyfriend’s home. But strangers aren’t always nice, so really, always let someone know where you are and who you are going with. Because they are different kinds of strangers. There are also those who are charming, quiet, polite, unassuming, complacent, and sweet, who pursue young women and men at home and in the streets. And unfortunately, it is these gentle strangers who are the most dangerous ones of all._

**Author's Note:**

> I used the original tale, but obviously I deviated a lot. I could have written a little bit more, perhaps I will come back to it later, how knows.
> 
> The "they lived happily and had many children" line is how fairy tales end in French, I think the English ending line is better, but I tend to get homesick.  
> The Moral part, well, it's very close to the original tale. Fairy tales were meant to teach something originally. That something was often a few really bad life lessons. I thought it was fun to keep it in. If it doesn't make any sense, that's normal. It's not meant to.


End file.
